YSL: Days 48, 49, 50

Today is Day 50. It's a rest day, and I'm inordinately pleased.

This week was very strange. I swapped workouts one day; did part of one on a day that was supposed to be a swim test day but ended up being a possible rest day--I opted not to rest--and skipped a day entirely. So, to this date, I still have not completed a full week of the preparation period. It's only been 2 weeks, but it's disheartening to realize how bad I am at completing this stuff.

I've started keeping a food log. I was shocked and a little horrified to realize that my net amounts were almost all in the negatives over five days, and by the multiple hundreds of calories...As much as I try, I just couldn't seem to choke down enough calories in the day. I'd get halfway through a bowl of noodles and feel completely full and then not have another chance to eat until four hours later.

I went back to eating meat on Saturday night, when I collapsed on the couch after work at the bookstore and fell asleep sitting up. I spent the afternoon feeling nauseated and totally weak, and actively lamenting the fact that I just could not get up the mojo for even the short tempo run and ride that was prescribed me.
Sunday I talked to Coach Mike and rehashed the training and swim problems. He noted that I just needed to get as close as possible to what was on the schedule, and that I ought to give myself more leeway and switching things around. So I'm doing away with feeling badly about that, and looking forward to the coming week.

Yesterday's workout, a "long" run in the slip-slidey treacherous ice and two hours and five minutes on the trainer, was excruciating. I cried at the end of it (I know, how sorry am *I*?), laid flat on my back to stretch, and ate a pizza with sausage on it. Okay, not one whole pizza, but still.

Lara noted that she can't tell whether or not I'm really enjoying this process. I am. I really, really am. It's fascinating to discover certain things about oneself, and since the rest of my life is such a non-scheduled (outside of appointments) mishmash, it's great to have this structure.

More importantly, it's really, really nice, after a hiatus of several years, to feel as if I'm getting stronger again. It was interfering with parts of my life: having to THINK about whether or not I can do five, six miles with friends is stupid and annoying, when compared to being flexible enough--and strong enough--to just up and do it.