argh

i've been thinking a lot about my performance lately.
i know that part of me is quite aware that triathlon, and, indeed, sport, in general, comes second to many things in my life: work and friends coming in numbers two and one.
but i don't think that i ever predicted i'd be so damned broken up over not finishing a race.
i had a mechanical problem. a horrible, stupid mechanical problem that was just par for the course as far as this bike goes.
i mean, let's look at the track history, shall we?

thursday, 5 june: yi shun gets bike stolen
thursday, 5 june: yi shun phones trusty shop guy to build new bike
saturday, 7 june: yi shun gets bike and realizes it's lacking a triple chain ring.
saturdya, 7 june: yi shun looks at bike and realizes she's borrowing someone else's race wheels.
tuesday, 10 june: yi shun flies to london.
thursday, 12 june: lara spends precious time faffing about with potentially lousy build on bike.
friday, 13 june: lara and yi shun go for spin 'round regents' park, where yi shun realizes that gearing is a little bit off.
saturday, 14 june: yi shun and lara and em check in; yi shun has gearing fine-tuned.
sunday, 15 june: yi shun races. yi shun does OK in swim; has lousy transition--and has to drop from race due to a bike problem completely unrelated to anything she and lara have been faffing with. no, the problem is with the borrowed race wheels.
sunday, 15 june: yi shun floods phone booth with crocodile tears. stoic brits who've never met her lend kind words and pats on back.

am sad but recovering with lots of help from good friends and good conversation. need to find another half soon to complete and be happy over. poo.